Which Parable son are you?

Luke15:11-32

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+15:11-32&version=NIV

In this scripture as you may have read, there are two sons an older son and a younger son.  On March 28, 2010 in Father David's Homily he stated that both sons where full of sin; the younger son was full of greed and the older son was full of envy.  After Father David pointed out a few key points in this Gospel, he went on to ask us to ask our selves, 'which parable son are you?'

A little more in depth, the younger son took every thing that belonged to his and took of, put himself first.  Not having a care in the world, filling his father's land with accessories vs necessities.  When he returned and his father celebrated him 'coming to life' the older son grew in anger and refused to join in he told his father that he has done every thing without disobeying him and the father 'never' acknowledged that.  This son wanted to do the same as the younger brother but he never did.  This is why this son had envy.

This got me thinking and of course I sat there and thought to myself about the actions these two have done and tried to compare it against my life.  I sat there in denial and answered to myself that I was neither.  I didn't see myself full of greed nor envy.  Boy have I ever been wrong!  Because later that week while continuing to reflect I have come to realize that I am 75% envious and 25% greedy, now this is where I explain it more in detail.

Envy:   a feeling of grudging admiration and desire to have something that is possessed by another

Comparing envy to my everyday life: Here I am a wife to the most wonderful man in my life and we are having a very challenging time TTC.  We are approaching the 5yr mark in September (praying we don't reach that mark and get out BFP).  Over the years we have had countless BFPs in our lives, and every one of them hurt us that much more.  I am going to be honest when I say this, every time we hear pregnancy news, get baby shower invites, or birth announcements. I ask myself, 'why can't that be me!?!?!  What do they have that I don't?  Why am I being punished?'  As you read in the last paragraph (the definition), being envious is wanting something that someone wants.  I am not going to sugar coat this at all, this is exactly what I go through every time this happens.

Greed:   An excessive desire to acquire or possess more than what one needs or deserves, especially with respect to material wealth

Comparing greed to my everyday life: There have been MANY times in my life that I have said I wish I can just win the Lotto and pay off all my debt, my families debt, and huge houses for my family.  Now to some this may not be considered greed but the definition states: wanting more than one needs.  I am sure winning the Lotto and paying off debt is not part of that, but wanting the accessories is different.  I could and should say I want to buy decent houses for my family so we can all be together and the would probably still be border line but more realistic.  This is something we all battle in our day to day lives, and without even knowing it.

So let me ask you this...which son are you?  

Father David added at the end of his Homily that we should be the father, because the father in a sense is like God, and has never turned his back on his sons no matter what.  This has stuck with me since this day.  Numerous times through the week I go back to this Gospel and reflect on it and I am always reminded that no matter how many times I have turned my back on God and ran away from Him, that he has and WILL always be there for me.

On a side note on this day I went to the Spanish mass, and after this Homily I nearly broke down in tears.  because NEVER before in my life have I felt this to be so true.  During the singing of the choir and the rest of the mass, I felt this presence with me.  It was live God was sitting right next to me and holding my hand, letting me know that everything will be okay.

Later that week I told my cousin Elvira what had happened and she told me that from that point things only get better.  I have faith in this and I know that now more than every I will never be alone.  No matter how far away I turn from God he will never leave my side.  This is my reassurance that I WILL be a mommy soon and God is just waiting for the perfect time.

GOD IS GOOD!!!

"The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand is when I carried you."